Marriage – We Haven’t Killed Each Other Yet

Today, I am writing on a more personal topic. Marriage. Marriage and relationships in general are a struggle between the absolutely wonderful and the completely aggravating. It is my second wedding anniversary today and our sixth year together. We haven’t killed each other, yet. 😉

Like many women, I grew up with the fantasy that marriage was the ultimate dream. I would find my soul mate and we would fall in love at first sight. He would woo and spoil me. He would be perfect in and at everything. We would always be in romantic love and live as the happiest couple ever for the rest of our lives. Thanks movies for the completely unrealistic view on love (enter sarcasm here).

For anyone who has been in a long-term relationship, you know that the reality of marriage is quite different. In the beginning, you definitely have a bout of romantic love. It may last quite awhile. If you are lucky, it lasts through your entire marriage. However, it is filled with new types of love that grow over time.

The reality of marriage is this: You love each other. You get annoyed at your differences. You argue over the important and small as if they are equal. You take your frustrations out on each other. You hold each other to higher expectations. You hurt each others feelings. You learn to communicate better. You learn to forgive each other. You make an effort to be better for the sake of the other. You accept your differences. You love each other… Then, you repeat the process in various forms over and over again.

Marriage isn’t a fairytale. It is a means to better yourself. Through all of the ups and downs you are given the opportunity to become more loving and forgiving. You learn to become more accepting of differences. You learn to change high expectations into accepting the other for who they are while holding them to their potential.

Romantic love becomes a true partnership based on trust, shared goals, and loyalty. It is the real test in life and the best way to better yourself with a loving cheerleader at your side. It hurts and makes you angry, but it also soothes pain and fills you with love. It is both the worst and the best of life. Those who choose to stick together, even when they want to kill each other, are worthy of our respect. They know that it is just a moment in a big picture and the big picture is love. They are warriors and survivors and creators of what really matter in life.

Happy we haven’t killed each other yet day, Alex! I am so thankful that you choose to stick it out with me even when it seems impossible. I am thankful for your love and support. I am thankful for your pushing me to be better and your accepting me for my faults and failures. I am thankful for who you are and I am proud to be your wife. I love you!


Surviving The First Two Years of Marriage – an article on About.com


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